All things lead to all things inappropriate

This week I have learned that no matter what the topic, a teenager can, and usually will, take it from something pure and wholesome and transform it into something vile and completely inappropriate. If I weren't in charge of turning these little punks into reputable citizens, I would almost be impressed by their twisted skills.

Exhibit A: I told my students to get into partnerships to complete an activity. The assignment was to have one partner close his or her eyes while the other partner described an object to that person. The intent was to have them see how imagery can help a person describe an object... well, you know what they say...the road to Hell is paved with good intentions... here is what I got from one group.

I noticed them giggling and so I decided I probably needed to investigate.

Student: It's long.

group: giggle, giggle, giggle

Student: It's hard.

group: giggle, giggle, giggle

Student: it's about the width of a quarter.

group: giggle, giggle, giggle

student: it's wet

group: giggle, giggle, giggle

student: you can lick it.

group: HYSTERICAL laughter.

Me: WHAT ARE YOU DESCRIBING!?!?!?

student (smirking): a popsicle, Ms. Hammer. Why, what did you think it was?

NASTY PUNK KIDS!!!



Exhibit B:

I was walking around the room, checking to make sure everyone was on task when one of my students stopped me.

student: Ms. Hammer, do you like my shirt?

The shirt said, 'Uranus' with a picture of the planet above it.

me: it looks lovely. How scientific of you.

student: Ms. Hammer, it's a pun, get it?

me: wha...Ohhhh.... (what am I supposed to say to that?!?!?!)

student: We learned about puns so I had to wear it.

me: charming, M.

I am so glad he could find a way to apply his learning in the real world...


Exhibit C:

So I wore a blue skirt to school the other day...the same blue skirt I've had for months and all of the sudden this Junior of mine is like, "Ms. Hammer, I like your style." "Ms. Hammer you are so pretty." "Ms. Hammer, you look good today." And then to top it all of he blows a kiss at me.

To all of this my response was, "Inappropriate, I. get going on your project!"

To which his response was, "Why is this inappropriate?"

To which my response was, "because I am your OLD BORING TEACHER!"

By the end of the period I was irritated by his disrespect as well as nervous to have to deal with him again next class. When kids pull this crap it is really dangerous because of all those stories of teachers hooking up with students out there. And let me just clearly state that I don't want ANYTHING to do with that. So, I had made up my mind if it happened again, I would report it to the office.

Well, well, well....the next day this kid shows up and he is on crutches with a sorely sprained ankle. Not that I found pleasure in his pain, but there was a part of me that wanted to yell, "BOOM! THAT'S KARMA BRO!" Perhaps he will think twice before he entices the wrath of the universe for heckling young, inexperienced English teachers again.